Bryson Paul Wolz
Born March 5th 2015
(40 Weeks + 2 Days)
8:50pm
8lbs 4oz
19 3/4 in. long
Blue eyes and a full head of blonde hair!
WARNING!... This birth story might be more information then some care to know. I wrote out all the details of the day for myself so that I won't forget anything. If you would rather skip all the bits that may be over-sharing, there is the short version! lol
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Bryson's Birth Story (The short version)-
I had irregular contractions at home for about 28 hours with basically no sleep for 2 nights straight. Finally on March 5th we were admitted to the hospital at 4am. It was 17 hours of active labor in the hospital before Bryson was born. Labor was an incredibly rewarding experience. I enjoyed every moment of it despite the discomfort and pain. The delivery was the most difficult thing I have ever done. It was exhausting, painful, and I was delirious with fever at one point. I made it through with the love and support of my husband, and now we have the most amazing baby. I would do it all over again. It was completely worth it!
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Bryson's Birth Story (Full version)-
Tuesday, March 3rd I went to bed at 10:30pm. I woke up at 12am Wednesday March 4th with what felt like really bad menstrual cramps. I had been having similar cramps ever since the baby dropped so I initially ignored them and tried to continue sleeping. I was in a half sleep state when my mind started racing. (I had been constantly questioning every little sign of possible labor out of pure anticipation). It dawned on me that some women experience contractions as menstrual cramps rather than the “tightening” and “pressure” that I have typically heard it described as. The idea that I may be having contractions was exciting enough to get me up out of bed and pacing around the house.
I noticed the cramping had a bit of a pattern. The cramp was getting stronger, and then fading away slightly. I decided to time how often I felt the “peak” of the cramp and realized that I had about 4-5 in a row that were 5 minutes apart. I immediately woke up Kevin to tell him that I thought they were contractions. He got up, took a shower and made coffee while I paced around the house frantically timing them. They were irregular ranging anywhere from 5-10 minutes in between. I spent the next several hours timing them, waiting for some consistency in timing, or for them to become stronger. Finally we decided to go back to bed. I was able to dose a bit in between the contractions, but after an hour of this, I gave up on sleep and continued to pace around the house. Kevin was able to sleep for 2 hours before he woke up to check on me.
We thought surely the contractions would pick up enough to head to the hospital at some point that day… so we tried to be patient. I took a few naps throughout the day, sleeping only in between contractions. Each nap lasted 30 min - an hour before I would finally give up and get out of bed. I got a few hours sleep in 5-10 minute intervals.
That night we decided that we should go to bed early because SURELY they were going to pick up and become labor during the night! Kevin slept for 3 hours, however I could not sleep at all. I tried moving all around the house, laying in every position that I could think of. I slept sitting up on the couch in between 3 contractions for maybe 15 minutes but that was all I could manage. The contractions were finally becoming stronger, but still not consistent.
Around 3 am they finally stayed at 5 minutes apart for a while, so we decided to head to the hospital. It was Thursday March 5 at 3:30 am when we arrived. At this point I had been having contractions for 27 ½ hours and had not slept in two nights straight. On the way to the hospital the contractions slowed again to 6-8 minutes apart. We nearly turned the car around and went home, but I decided to just get checked for my own curiosity. I was hoping that they would at least say that I was getting close!
They checked me in triage and I was measuring at 3 cm! I was so relieved to know that I had made progress! They kept me on the monitor for an hour and determined that my contractions were about 5 minutes apart during that time. The hospital decided to admit us!
At 7am I was at 4cm with a bulging bag of water. The doctor came in at 8am and told me that he would like to break my water, because that would likely get things going more quickly. It was incredible the amount of water that was in there! I could not believe it! They checked me sometime around 8:30-9:00 and I was at 5cm.
I was doing great with natural childbirth. I was keeping calm and breathing great. I never felt that the pain was too intense, and was completely confident that I could keep going on my own with no problem. I was smiling and joking with Kevin between contractions and everything was going smoothly and quickly. Then, the nurse came in and told us that Bryson’s heartbeat was beginning to lower during each contraction. She explained that it was caused because of cord compression. The way that he was positioned, combined with the location of his umbilical cord was causing it to be squashed by the tightening of my uterus.
She asked that I try laying on my side to avoid it. I tried, however it created a pain in my tailbone that was so bad that it caused me to cry out. I could handle regular contraction pain- tightening and pressure. However, the pain I had in my tailbone was like a sharp, shooting nerve pain. It was a completely different level that I just could not handle. I tried every position that I could think of to avoid laying on my side but nothing was keeping his heart rate from dropping. Finally the nurse said I had no other option but to lay on my side and made me move. I tried to adjust to the new kind of pain. I was trying to keep calm and breathe, but it seemed impossible. I began to cry and feel panic. It literally felt like a knife stabbing me in the tailbone during each contraction. It was sharp and precise pain that caused a shocking, intense sensation. I truly felt that I just could not labor that way. I asked for the epidural.
The reason that I had not wanted the epidural to begin with was to avoid the drug pitocin. My body was progressing and laboring so smoothly however that they assured me that I would likely not need the drug. The epidural would simply be numbing of the pain for me, and would not affect the baby in any way. I knew I had to be on my side to do what was best for the baby so I decided this was the best option. It was a hard decision because I knew that it meant I would not get to experience pushing naturally which is something that I really wanted. Ultimately I weighed out the options and decided what was best for me and baby and I went with my gut.
I labored on my side for about another 9 contractions while I waited for the anesthesiologist. I vividly remember every single one of those contractions. It was the most painful part of the entire experience! They offered me medication to help with the pain and to keep me calm while I waited, but I declined. I did not want the baby to have any narcotics in his system if I could avoid it. I was proud of myself for being able to do what I felt was best for Bryson in a tough situation.
Finally the anesthesiologist came in and asked Kevin to step out into the hall while I got the epidural. Although Kevin assumed that it would only take a few minutes, It took 30 minutes to get everything prepped and administered. Kevin paced the hallway worried that something was going wrong. They were calling codes over the intercom that had him paranoid they were for my room. He was pacing around worried for what felt like forever. By the time he came back into the room I was feeling numb and great lol. He walked in, took one look in my eyes, and said “Oh hi! Welcome back!” lol
I spent the next several hours pain free. I laid on my side for so long that it was causing me to have horrible upper back pain (which had bothered me through my entire pregnancy) but I could not complain about that compared to the alternative! I was so talkative during this point. Although I was running on no sleep, my adrenaline and excitement took over.
They cheked me at 1:30pm and I was at 8cm. By 3:00pm I was at 9cm. Time was flying. It felt like I was dilating fast and progressing quickly. I had no idea how much time was passing. I was so happy that my body was progressing, allowing me to avoid pitocin! I was able to enjoy this process because of the epidural and know that my baby was not put in any risk for my own comfort. I truly felt confident in my decision which was a great feeling.
At 4:00pm the nurse checked me again and said that I was almost fully dilated at 10cm, however there was just one lip of the cervix that was stuck. She decided that if I began pushing the baby down, she could simultaneously push the cervical lip up to get me to a full 10cm. I pushed and pushed but I was having a really hard time understanding what to do. I was numb and couldn’t feel what she was talking about. Her instructions were confusing. I kept trying but it seemed that for every 3 failed pushes, I would only get one good push. I was getting so frustrated. Why couldn’t I figure this out? We spent about an hour and a half pushing until I got the cervical lip clear and made it to 10cm. We took a few breaks in between, but overall, I ended up wasting so much of my strength and energy during this time which I really ended up needing later on!
At around 5:30pm I began to push the baby for delivery. I continued to struggle so they decided to turn the epidural down to half so that I could have a bit more feeling. It didn't work very well. I was slowly moving him down but the process was long and frustrating. I felt like a failure! Why couldn't I figure it out? He wasn't stuck, he had plenty of room! I was trying to follow instructions and visualize my body doing it but it seemed that no matter how I tried It wouldn't work.
At this point the nurses did shift change. The new nurse came in and announced that they were giving me another hour before we would have to discuss a cesarean section. I immediately looked at Kevin and said “We are NOT doing that unless me or the baby are in distress!” I was getting really stressed at this point! The new nurse checked me and announced that I was closer than she had thought, and the baby had plenty of room, so she was going to help me get this done!
She turned the epidural completely off, because clearly being numb was not going to work. I was happy to try anything at this point. She continued to coach me through each push and used different words to describe what I was supposed to be doing. The way she described what to do, combined with the fact that I could finally feel the lower half of my body began to work! I finally started to understand and was able to push correctly. Unfortunately by this point, I had already wasted 3 hours worth of energy and was becoming exhausted. I was making good progress now, but my body was starting to give out. I spiked a fever of 102 degrees. I was so hot I felt like the room was a sauna. I was dripping sweat, but I just kept pushing. I was getting there slowly but surely.
Eventually the nurse had to leave the room to call the doctor. She was gone for about 20 minutes. This part was horrible! She was my coach... she was keeping me calm... and now she left me to lay here like this alone! (Well, of course I had Kevin, thank goodness!) Each contraction forced my body to push. It was uncontrollable. To be honest, without my “coach” there I wasn't trying very hard. I allowed my body to push in it’s natural way because I could not avoid it, but I didn't put any extra effort or strain into the pushes. I was basically just getting through the contractions until she got back so I could begin to really start trying again.
During these 20 minutes I began to panic. I was feeling delusional from the fever and the exhaustion. Kevin said something to me, and 30 seconds later I realized that I had no idea what he had just said. I almost had a feeling of not knowing where I was at times. It was like an out of body experience. I was so scared. I have never felt anything like this in my life! In between contractions I felt like a zombie. I stared off at the wall. I felt that I just couldn't do this. I was in complete shock at this point.
I remember describing the feeling to Kevin as being “traumatized,” which I know broke his heart. I cried to the nurse when she got back and told her that she “just didn't understand,” that “I just can not do this.” I asked for help. Please. Anything! A vacuum, forceps, grab him with your bare hands… ANYTHING! The nurse and Kevin tried to keep me calm but I was in a very bad place. I had never felt anything like this in my life. I was so scared.
The nurse checked me again and to her surprise, I was almost there! Turns out, while she was out of the room, and I allowed my body to push naturally, without trying, I was able to make more progress! I think I had just been trying too hard rather than trusting my own body. The nurse told me that the doctor was on his way and that he would use something called a kiwi to help get the baby out. I think a kiwi is basically a suction cup that attaches to baby’s head so that the doctor can help to “pull” while I am pushing. Between hearing that I was finally almost there, and that help was on the way, I was able to pull myself out of the hazed state that I had been in.
I just kept pushing and finally got the baby crowning. They told me that I could not stop pushing or the baby would descend back again. I kept pushing the entire time I was waiting for the doctor but no matter how hard or how long I pushed, I could not get the head out. I remember saying that if I needed to push harder than that, then it would be impossible because that was all that I had! I had been pushing without any pain medication for 5 hours, and I was delirious with fever… I truly could not push any harder! Kevin and the nurse kept trying to reassure me that I could do this. I knew that I had no choice, I was doing it one way or another!
The doctor arrived and I could finally see a light at the end of the tunnel! Finally someone to help me! I saw him pull out the surgical scissors for an episiotomy. This is something I had not wanted. I had planned to allow plenty of time for crowning, and take it slow to avoid tearing. At this point however, after 45 hours of labor, I decided I did not care! Cut me... suction cup him out... do whatever you have to do!
Finally, with the help of the doctor (using the kiwi), I was able to get his head out. I could not see him because I was laying on my back in the bed. I will never forget the look on Kevin’s face at that moment. I saw him looking at Bryson’s head for the first time. Kevin looked so amazed and happy and began to cry. The doctor said “one more big push now.” Out came his body! As they lifted him into my view I was in complete shock. I could not believe how big he was. I went from feeling like a failure for not being able to push him out in 5 hours, to feeling like a superhuman for being able to push him out at ALL! I could not believe that anything that size could possibly come out of my body! They brought him immediately to my chest for a brief look at his face.
Originally, I had wanted to have skin to skin contact before they took him for clean up, weighing, etc. At the moment he was born, I changed my mind. I was in shock from the whole thing. I really just needed a moment to gather myself. I asked them to take him, do what they needed to do, and then bring him to me when they were done. Kevin stayed by his side while they got him cleaned up, and took pictures. I wasn't able to see Bryson from my position in the bed, but I could see Kevin’s reaction as he looked at him. That was such a special moment for me. I was so eager to see Bryson but if I had seen him right away I would have missed the look on Kevin’s face. It was pretty incredible to see Kevin beaming with such joy and pride. I was able to take a few calming breaths and let everything that had just happened begin to soak in.
After a bit they got him all cleaned up and weighed. They swaddled him in a blanket and brought him over to me on the bed. The moment I looked at him I began to cry tears of joy. When I first spoke to him, I could see him look almost startled as he turned toward me. His eyes focused on my face and I knew that he recognized his mama! It was an incredible experience that I will cherish forever.
Labor was an incredibly rewarding experience that changed me forever. I enjoyed every moment of it despite the discomfort and pain. The delivery was the most difficult thing I have ever done. It was exhausting, painful, and scary but I made it through with the love and support of Kevin. We were blessed with the most amazing baby. I would do it all over again. It was completely worth it!
