Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment. The doctor checked me again, and said that I have made no progress! In fact, he said that saying I am 1 cm is "putting it generously." What the heck!?! LOL He also told me that based on my measurements, he would guess that I have an 8 pound baby. (Yikes! At least that means he will be healthy!)
I have decided that I am just going to be one of those women who go from 1 cm to 4-5 cm active labor out of the clear blue sky. I have to at least hope that will be the case!
I honestly do not mind waiting, but I wish the doctor hadn't gotten my hopes up about an early baby! It is all guessing. No one really knows. I am just trying to be patient now.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit upset. I want to trust that my body will preform exactly as it is should, and that I will have a beautiful, natural, un-medicated birth. Each week I leave the doctor's office feeling discouraged! I feel like my body is not doing what it should. I am not dilating or having any of the "practice" contractions that my doctor keeps asking me about. I honestly wish that I would never have let him check me! I have to trust my own body and not listen to the numbers!
Next week, on my due date, we will discuss induction options. I want to allow my body the chance to begin labor naturally if possible. The doctor said the longest he would allow me to wait is 10 days after my due date. (Which would be Friday the 13th... not sure how I feel about that! lol)
Hopefully it will not come to that, but if it does, I plan to avoid medication if possible. My mom was induced by simply breaking her water, so hopefully it would work the same for me. If I have to have pitocin, I hope I can be taken off it once my body takes over the labor process. No point in worrying about it now. I am not even at my due date yet, and it will all go how it is going to go. I am just happy that I feel informed enough to make decisions in the moment as situations arise.
I have been feeling good overall. I have officially gained 40 pounds! I am super uncomfortable most of the time! He is sitting so low that he pushes on nerves in my legs constantly which really hurts! He is so big now, that when he stretches it is often painful. Oh and I forgot to mention... about 2 weeks ago I suddenly started to get a few stretch marks! Despite all of that, I have been able to get good rest and I feel generally energized and optimistic about everything. This is the hardest part, but I truly feel blessed to have had the experience of pregnancy and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
It has been strange not working. I have had some cabin fever for sure! I find myself thinking about the labor and delivery constantly. It is making me more anxious. I even went out and bought a puzzle to keep my mind off of things! To be honest, that is why I did not update the blog yesterday. After my appointment, I felt a bit upset so I decided I needed to just take time to think about something else! I binge watched a tv series on Netflix, and worked on a puzzle, and didn't think about/ worry about anything! It was exactly what I needed!
I am not afraid of labor, I am just so anxious to meet my son already!
Bryson will be here in 16 days at the absolute latest. That is so exciting to think about! I love him so much already!
Bump-
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